Yoga Forum with Gioconda

2012-01-27T21:49:00.000-08:00

Deer Valley, Utah January 2012

I am clearing a space--here where the trees stand back. I am making a circle so open the moon will fall in love and stroke these grasses with her silver.

I am setting stones in the four directions, stones that have called my name from mountaintops and riverbeds, canyons and mesas.

Here I will stand with my hands empty, mind gaping under the moon. I know there is another way to live. When I find it, the angels will cry out in rapture, each cell of my body will be a rose, a star.

If something seized my life tonight,

if a sudden wind swept through me,

changing everything, I would not resist.

I am ready for whatever comes.

But I think it will be something small,

an animal padding out from the shadows,

or a word spoken so softly I hear it inside.

It is dark out here, and cold. The moon is stone.

I am alone with my longing. Nothing is happening

but the next breath, and the next...--Morgan Farley

To be alone with our longing, to stand with our hands empty and minds quiet, waiting for true inspiration and clear vision is an art we as a culture have lost. The Vision Quest, vital to the people who inhabited this land before us, is all but lost to us in its original form.

And yet, asana and meditation can teach us the art of "clearing a space." Day by day we learn to stand with hands empty and mind gaping. We learn to listen for the words we hear from the inside. We reach the state where nothing is happening but the next breath, and the next breath.

It is a brave soul who willingly empties hands and mind and learns another way to live. It doesn't happen all at once. As the poet says, "it will be something small." Another way to live happens when we are brave enough to feel our longing, and we lean into it and let it shape us. Let us all lean into our practice, our community, our stillness and the deepest longings of our heart and be the change we want to see in the dawning of this New Year.

December Newsletter, Power of Choice

2011-12-06T22:32:00.000-08:00

Tree Seat, Near Twin Peaks, CA, August 2011

"Every night you release the spirit from its body-prison and erase the mind of memory. Each night the bird is uncaged and the waking narrative pauses.

Prisoners aren't in prison. Governors are powerless. No pain or aching. No worries about getting or losing. No fantasies about this or that person.

This is the knower's state when wide awake." - Rumi

The practices of yoga and meditation give us back the freedom of choice. All day long, the waking narrative of our life is telling us stories. Who we like, what we prefer, what is pleasant and unpleasant, whether we are a success or a failure. This narrative can be dictated by events or beliefs from our past, or ideas and themes chosen for us by others.

At times we live out a narrative that is not even our own story. Our perspective is skewed. We see ourselves as governors when we truly have no power, or we see ourselves as prisoners, though we've always had keys to the cell door.

Through dedicated practice, mindful presence, open-hearted self-discovery, and grace we loosen the grip of our narrativeand glimpse the knower. As the knower, we choose the narrative we want to engage with.

If the story we are telling is a positive one, generating love and joy, we can enter it whole-heartedly. If the story is unpleasant, limiting or painful, we can wake up from it, as if awakening from a dream. This is truly being at choice in our lives. This is the gift we give ourselves thru mindful, dedicated practice.

This season, give yourself, and by example, others around you, the greatest gift in life--the power to choose.

Blessings in this Holiday Season- Gia

Working with Pain

2011-11-15T12:08:00.000-08:00

I've been working with a private client recently who's been in chronic pain over a long period of time, and over the course of our work together I've come to realize something interesting about the way our minds and bodies find to cope with pain.

With this particular client, my assumption was that a long relationship with an injury would heighten awareness of the area of pain and it's exact nature. But my experience in this case has been quite different. As we are working together, when we approach a posture in which I anticipate she may have sensation, I ask whether or not the work is aggravating the area. And what I am surprised to learn is very often she is unsure of an answer.

It seems as if in order to cope with the pain, her mind has vacated the area of sensation. It is a challenge for her to take her mind into that place in her body and to discern what the sensation there actually is. It's as if the area of pain has been such an uncomfortable place to be that her mind has learned to avoid the experience all together.

Through gentle exploration, and through conscious inquiry, she is learning to feel what is pain, what is tightness, and what is simply unfamiliar movement to an area of the body that's been locked away for a long period of time.

Our emotional pain and history can be quite similar. When we've experienced unhappiness or trauma in an area of our life, our mind will sometimes do it's best to avoid that entire arena of life, sometimes to the point that we stop "going there" altogether. That aspect of ourselves atrophies, and becomes a place we avoid in order to stop unpleasant feelings. But just like the body, these parts of ourselves are parts we need. And left alone, over time, the numbing that served us initially begins to leak out into other areas of our life, or to stop us from doing the things we want to do.

It takes great courage to be willing to face our pain. My client inspires me in her dedication to the gentle practices we've put in place in her life. Her determination to come back into her body and to learn to move and function as a whole is a testament to her inner resolve to heal. By shining the light of conscious awareness into places that were avoided, she is reclaiming movement and freedom.

The practices of yoga inspire us to be courageous. They invite a willingness to shine the light of conscious awareness in places we've left in the shadow. Through loving compassion and our capacity to feel, we can revisit the places we've shut down and open the door to a more complete understanding of ourselves. Often the places we are fearful to go are the very places we must illuminate in order to claim the fullness of our being.

Yoga doesn't promise us a pain free life. But it does give us the capacity to be with our pain, to understand the message it has for us, and to work with it in an intelligent and loving way.

Interview for the Austin Yoga Festival

2011-09-06T20:12:00.001-07:00

If you're interested, check out my interview for the Texas Yoga Festival. http://www.austinyogafestival.com/blog/interview-with-artful-vinyasa-yoga-teacher-gioconda-parker/

What wants to be...

2010-12-22T08:41:00.000-08:00

What wants to be through me? Sometimes when I ask myself this question, I have no idea. At times, I have fear, or doubt, or confusion. But none of these things are real. What is real is the voice that comes through, inspired language that speaks and writes through me...a channel that opens in a fearless way when I step out of the pattern of anxiety and focus on the creation, not that which is blocking it.

When I go with the spark that inspires me rather than shrink back from it, I am in the flow. When I don't, tension grows and the spark flickers. In the open space of innocence, desire and joyful creativity, there is life, excitement and exuberance. In 2011, I pledge to devote myself to find what wants to be through me and to allow the channel to stay open. So Be It!

December Newsletter

2010-12-15T09:20:00.001-08:00

Recently, I've been diving into studies in Ayurveda, the "yogic health care system." One of the first things James Bailey said that caught my attention is that Ayurveda seeks to understand the individual, and upon understanding the individual, to help them move toward their own unique balance for optimal health. There is no external concept of "ideal" people should conform to, but rather "ideal" is informed by the individual person's constitution. Optimal health is defined by being uniquely balanced to one's own nature.

Since then, I've been considering this same concept with a broader scope. What would life be like if we were to determine our success based on a criteria unique to our own nature rather than measuring up to some external "ideal"?

For one thing, it would be hard to compete in a world where there wasn't a single finish line, but instead various paths going in different directions with varied lengths, challenge levels and topography. And we'd be less tempted to value someone else's opinion of our progress since they wouldn't necessarily know our route. We'd be continually redirected to an internal compass and map, and we'd make it important to learn to use them and to feel when we're off course.

There are general guidelines in Ayurveda towards optimal health: Eating fresh and vibrant foods, resting as appropriate, taking care of our bodies. But exactly which foods, how much rest and what kind of care depends on the individual.

In navigating life, there are general guidelines to staying on course: finding work we love and doing it wholeheartedly, spending time with friends and family, playing, practicing and giving back when we can in return for all we're given. But again, exactly how it all comes together is as singular as our fingerprint.

When we leave behind competing & comparing, we are empowered to choose that which allows us to flourish and grow in our own uniqueness. We begin to develop a sense of what brings us joy, harmony and vitality. We open the door to creativity and exploration.

As more of us journey our fingerprint-like individual paths, life on planet Earth becomes rich in diversity and expression...like the remarkable Red Sand Beach, beautiful and incomparable.

Love & Light this Holiday Season! Namaste - Gioconda

Where you put your energy...

2010-12-14T21:42:00.000-08:00

"The only thing that can grow is the thing that you give energy to." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've been thinking about this quote all day, and as is usual per the universe, I've been challenged as to what to give my energy to. I sort of just had one of those days, you know, the days that present growth opportunities at every turn. I woke up with Austin allergies, but determined not to give too much attention to it, drank my detox tea (2 quarts of water, bring to a boil, add 1/4 t cumin, 1/2 t of coriander seeds & 1/2 t of fennel seeds, steep for 10 minutes and drink all day in case you suffer from the same), used the faithful neti pot, and focused on feeling energized.

My first private session of the day was great. It's truly an honor to be trusted as part of someone's healing journey, and having experienced first hand this year what recovery can be like, I know how important it is to have people to witness and support the process. So I was really glad I hadn't given in to feeling "under the weather" but had focused instead on well-being and taken the steps I knew would help me so I could show up for the session.

Once we finished, I decided to take a shower. The water seemed to be taking a while to heat up, but I figured it was because it was cold outside, so I got in, soaped up, and then the water went from lukewarm to straight up cold. When I was living in Honduras, we didn't have hot water for an entire year, so cold showers aren't exactly a new experience, although it was always at least 90 degrees there. A bit different than today...I got out of there as soon as possible. As I was muttering under my breath (probably a little louder than that to be honest) I remembered bucket showers in India. I made a deliberate decision to be grateful for a an actual shower, complimented with soap and full sized towel to dry off. At least I got clean, and I was certainly energized!

I spent a couple of hours reading Ayurveda and the Mind, chanted along with my Hanuman Chalisa CD (which I am slowly, VERY slowly beginning to commit to memory) and practiced. Today I was able to keep both palms flat in crow pose. Not bad for 16 weeks post surgery, considering my doctor expected at least 9 months to full weight bearing! When he & my therapist started throwing out estimates of 9 months to 2 years, my heart sank. So instead of a future timeline, I've been focusing everyday on what small thing I can do today that I couldn't do yesterday. Small victories in the face of big challenge.

The rest of my day was a continuation of alternating challenge--no parking downtown for my corporate clients, some management issues with one of the studios I work for--and then very rewarding experiences--visibly watching the stress drop away as we practiced inversions in the conference room, the deep quiet of a truly restful sivasana after some restorative work in evening vinyasa class.

As I sit here this evening, I realize I have a choice. I can either give my energy to the moments of frustration I had today or I can focus on some of the really great things that happened today. I could sit here thinking about a conversation I have coming tomorrow, steeling myself for the worst, or I could get in bed and do my mantra practice and fall asleep in that vibration instead. I have to say, I haven't always chosen the latter. My mind feels pretty justified in stewing...but today I'm remembering "The only thing that can grow is the thing that you give your energy to," so I'm off to mantra and to bed. Small victories...

Sub List for July 23-Aug 10th, 2010

2010-07-21T16:46:00.000-07:00

July 23^rd –Dharma @ 5pm Sanieh Patricia

July 24^th – Bodhi @ 10am Chris Rossbach

July 25^th – Castle Hill @ 4pm–Dido; Bodhi @ 6pm – Bruce Sherman

July 26^th – Dharma@noon Mandy; Bodhi @5:30pm – Erika

July 27^th – Castle Hill @ 9:30am – Sam Rice; 6pm – Dido Nydick

July 30^th – Dharma @ 5pm – Sanieh Patricia

July 31^st – Bodhi @ 10am Chris Rossbach

Aug 1^st – Castle Hill @ 4pm - Maricarmen Wilson

Aug 2^nd – Dharma @ noon – Mandy; Bodhi@5:30pm-Erika

Aug 3^rd –Castle Hill 9:30am – Sam Rice; 6pm – Dido Nydick

Aug 6^th – Dharma @ 5pm - Courtney Bell

Aug 7^th – Bodhi @10am – Chris Rossbach

Aug 8^th – Castle Hill @ 4pm – Dido Nydick

Aug 9^th – Dharma @ noon- Keith; Bodhi @ 5:30pm-Erika

Aug 10^th – Castle Hill @ 9:30am –Sam Rice; 6pm - Maricarmen

Sub List for June 18th-21st

2010-06-15T19:38:00.000-07:00

Friday 5pm @ Dharma Yoga - Sanieh Patricia
Saturday 10am @ Bodhi Yoga - Hannah Emlen
Sunday 4pm @ Castle Hill Yoga - Hannah Emlen
Monday noon @ Dharma Yoga - Mandy Eubanks
Monday 5:30pm @ Bodhi Yoga - Erika Henderson

Sometimes It's Just That Simple

2010-06-03T15:13:00.000-07:00

"In daily life we see people who are happier than we are, people who are less happy. Some might be doing praiseworthy things and others causing problems. Whatever may be our usual attitude toward such people and their actions, if we can be pleased with others who are happier than ourselves, compassionate toward those who are unhappy, joyful with those doing praiseworthy things, and remain undisturbed by the errors of others, our mind will be very tranquil." TKV Desikachar's interpretation of Yoga Sutra 1:33

For the past couple of days I haven't been able to spend as much time in asana...time to give the body a little rest. So instead, I picked up The Heart of Yoga and flipped to the Sutras. I love reading the yoga sutras. I know some people find them complicated to read, but to me the lists of things are so simplifying...and inescapable.

The mind can write a hundred stories and variations on stories...why we face challenges in our practice, why we're suffering, why we're wound up. Yogis knew this...and they knew that the stories can be like an endless maze, difficult to navigate. So they made it more simple. Like the sutra above. Those four attitudes cover just about any drama we can possibly have with another person. So the STORY winds down and then, minus the story, we're just left with the work of cultivating a way of being that is more clear, peaceful and lucid.

A couple of months ago I was at a training in Tucson with Darren Rhodes and Christina Sell. Christina was teaching and Darren was assisting. Darren came by and told me to press my index knuckle down stronger in downward facing dog. It's the same instruction I find myself giving to students so I thought "Hmm, interesting, I should be more mindful of that." Then about 30 minutes later he came by and gave me the same correction, but with a little different intonation. And in that moment I thought, "I am going to keep that index knuckle down for the rest of the practice so the next time he comes by, I can learn something different from him." Motivation...I was motivated to do the simple work in order to grasp more.

This sutra isn't super glamorous. It's just a simple list of attitudes to cultivate...attitudes that lead to a more tranquil mind; that tranquil mind is the starting place for so much more. Like keeping the index knuckle down. When we can keep the drama down, there's so much more that unfolds. We can look to many masters and teachers for evidence of this. In doing the simple work--joy in other's successes, compassion for those suffering, celebrating the good others do and remaining undisturbed when people around us make mistakes--we lay the groundwork for much deeper and more profound teachings.

Making Space

2010-05-13T11:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes in the process of transformation, it is necessary to make space. We get the urge, we feel something new stirring inside of us, we know it is time for a change. The inspiration rises, and begins to push us towards a new level of growth, towards allowing something new to come through.

But our schedule, our life is already so full. How to make time to nurture innovation? We must let something go...open up the time and the space in our lives to listen to the call. Let go of the old way that HAS worked in order to find a new way.

It sounds great...and exciting. And it is. It's also a little scary...to walk away from the way things have been in the direction of something that's coming but not yet here. There's a moment of doubt, are we doing the right thing? Can we hold stronger to the vision of what's coming than to the assurance of what was?

It takes strength to move into open space...strength and trust. We trust our vision of what can be in order to let go of what is. It's a leap of faith. And there are crucial moments in the process. The first is when we take a real step...we step IN to the state of trust and we do what it takes to make the space.

When we've let go of what was, and we don't yet have what will be, we step UP the game. We're no longer standing on the shore watching the flow and thinking, hmmm, it might be nice to jump in someday. We're IN. That's a moment we either turn back and swim like crazy for dry land, OR we remember why we jumped and hold the vision of where we're going. We either give into the "what was I thinking?" dialogue or we remember "oh yeah, this is it...this is why I jumped."

If we can hang in the flow, if we can hear the call of what will be louder than the call of what was, we have the opportunity to step THROUGH to a new place. And when we arrive, we realize all along the journey was the destination. It's not so much where we arrive, but who we become along the way. The deepest transformation is not in changing what we do, but changing who is doing it and how it is being done. The opening of space is ultimately not space in our schedule, but rather space in ourselves. The letting go of something is not external activities, but internal attachment to false identity. And the trust is not that in the end, we'll have something new to cling to, but rather the opportunity to learn to trust in the process of continual growth and transformation.

It's a new moon today. It's a beautiful time to enter the stream of new growth and transformation...what will we make space for?

Mastery

2010-02-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

I recently had a conversation with a dear friend of mine about "hanging with the big kids," meaning stepping up to the next level. The course of our conversation led to redefining my idea of what that might mean, that perhaps moving to a level of mastery requires not more learning, but returning to innocence, playfulness and presence...to simplicity rather than increasing levels of complicated calculations.

This weekend, while in Houston, I visited the Rothko Chapel & the Cy Twombly Museum. Sitting in front of the works of two artists I deeply admire, the level of mastery was evident...not in the complicated variations of their work, but rather in the patient and deliberate consideration of a single theme repeated and reconsidered again and again from different vantage points.

In a culture that values productivity & accumulation, the concept of mastery can be forgotten. We can begin to confuse volume or correct execution as the ultimate measure of success and lose out on mastering our craft. When in fact, a compulsion to produce or to do things "right" can kill the creative impulse we started from.
Simplifying, and rediscovering an innocent desire to know our craft, to find our relationship to it, and to express it in our own unique way brings us back to the threshold of discovery, opening a door we can step through into a new understanding of both ourselves and our work.

As we continue in the practice of yoga, we develop a level of mastery that goes beyond correct execution of poses to include sensitivity, breath awareness, presence, self-inquiry and the experience of yoga, the joining together of parts toward wholeness. We revisit shapes again and again, using them as the canvas to explore these themes day after day, until our understanding of the practice and ourselves grows less complicated and more profound. At least it seems to me that's how it happens. But the thing about it is, the practice only works if we practice. And mastery only happens by staying after it, whatever it is, consistently, lovingly, patiently (and sometimes impatiently) coming back to ever increasing moments of practice, peppered now and again with startling clarity, an insight, a break through.

I'll leave you with some quotes from the artists:

The progression of a painter's work as it travels in time from point to point, will be toward clarity.. toward the elimination of all obstacles between the painter and the idea.. and the idea and the observer.. To achieve this clarity is inevitably to be understood. - Mark Rothko

The fact that people break down and cry when confronted with my pictures shows that I can communicate those basic human emotions.. the people who weep before my pictures are having the same religious experience I had when painting them. And if you say you are moved only by their color relationships then you miss the point. - Mark Rothko

My line is childlike but not childish. It is very difficult to fake.. to get that quality you need to project yourself into the child's line. It has to be felt. - Cy Twombly

Longing...

2010-02-15T07:55:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning feeling a lack of something...feeling like there was something missing inside of me. I was immediately thrown into the compulsion, looking for some way to fill it up---send and email, make a phone call, get online. Something to make that feeling go away. Fortunately, I am surrounded in my life with good friends who are walking the path of yoga, both on and off the mat. I spoke to my friend Zoe, and she reminded me of Rumi's words..."The cure for the pain is in the pain. The resolution to your longing is in the longing itself."

So I just sat down and let myself feel this deep longing inside...and it opened up for me. That sense of longing is my human birthright. It's the deeply human experience, not to be avoided but rather to be embraced. And in going through the door of longing, I come into a deep appreciation of my capacity to feel. To feel alive, to know my heart's capacity for both desire and the fulfillment of desire. I didn't come here to avoid feeling...in avoiding it, I cut myself off from the valuable information my feelings have for me, about who I am, about what I want from life.

This is the real life experience. Inspirational words and poetry are beautiful, but nothing compared to living them. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity this morning to step through the door of longing into my own heart.

Namaste

Subs While I'm In Tucson

2010-01-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

Castle Hill Yoga

Thur January 7th 6pm Vinyasa - Hannah

Sun January 10th 4pm Vinyasa - Mark
Tues January 12th 9:30am - Selena

Bodhi Yoga

Sat, Jan 9th 10am - Hannah
Mon, Jan 11th 5:30pm –G’Nell
Wed, Jan 13th 5:30pm - Hannah

Dharma Yoga

Monday noon - Sanieh

Setting Intention for 2010

2009-12-30T15:48:00.000-08:00

I recently attended an Anusara Immersion in Tucson. It was a really incredible experience. So many blessings came out of that week fingers and toes aren't enough to count them all, but one that will continue to grow are the intentions I set for this upcoming year. I wanted to share them, because in sharing them they become more real.

So, this is what I intend for 2010:

To stand fearless in relationship.
To stand fearless in the face of love.
To stand fearless in myself.
To stand on my hands (and hopefully in lotus!)
To stand in light, in full awareness that the light also casts shadows.

To know myself.
To be authentic in my work.
To be truthful & hide nothing.
To be ashamed of nothing.
To take chances and not be so afraid of making mistakes.

And then we were asked to sum it up in six words.
Mine are Step Up, Step In & Step Through.

Step UP - to challenges as they come.
Step IN - to the stream of goodness that is flowing my way.
Step THROUGH - doors as they open.

Step up is me taking action, step in is me allowing the actions of the universe, and step through is the universe and I collaborating in the dance.

I gave up New Year's Resolutions a while back, but setting intention feels different to me. It's so easy for me to get caught up in the day to day business of life, and having these intentions around where I can see them and refer to them when something comes up will give me the clarity of bigger picture when the moment to moment decisions of daily life ask to be made.

Sharing them makes it even more real, so I'm grateful for the opportunity to do that here. I'm so looking forward to what this new year will bring!

And Happy New Year to all!

Sub List for Dec 18th -23rd

2009-12-15T15:09:00.000-08:00

I will be teaching an extended workshop in San Francisco this coming weekend. The following lovely and talented teachers will be covering my classes while I'm gone:

Friday, December 18th
5pm All Levels @ Dharma Yoga - Sanieh

Saturday, December 19^th

10am Vinyasa @ Bodhi - Hannah

Sunday, December 20^th

4pm Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Duke

Monday, December 21^st

12-1:15pm All Levels @ Dharma Yoga - Sanieh

5:30pm Vinyasa @ Bodhi - Erica

Tuesday, December 22^nd

Am Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Maricarmen

Pm Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Dido

Wednesday, December 30th

6:30pm - Empower Yoga - Gigi

Going for Training

2009-12-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

I'm very excited to be going to training in AZ this coming week. Here are my subs while I'm away. Please enjoy your practice with them, and I'll see you a week from Tuesday!

December 8-14

Tuesday, December 8^th

Am Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Maricarmen

Pm Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Dido

Wednesday, December 9th

6:30pm Empower Yoga - Gigi

Thursday, December 10^th

Am Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Selena

Pm Vinyasa – Castle Hill - Hannah

Friday, December 11th

5pm Dharma Yoga - Sanieh

Saturday, December 12^th

10 am Vinyasa @ Bodhi - Chris

Sunday, December 13^th

4pm Vinyasa @ Castle Hill - Hannah

Monday, December 14^th

5:30pm Vinyasa @ Bodhi – G’Nell

Sub List for Sept 17th - Oct 10th; Bodhi Yoga

2009-09-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Monday night 5:30pm Bodhi classes will be subbed by G'Nell.

Saturday morning 10 am classes will be subbed by Chris Rossbach.

Gospel Revival

2009-09-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

I arrived home this evening after teaching the Fire and Water workshops at Dharma. The weekend was a beautiful teaching opportunity, allowing me the opportunity to share parts of the practice I don't get to share in the shorter public teaching format. We explored mantra, mudra, meditation, asana and pranayama. I've been immersed in yoga study preparing for the workshop.

While searching for a CD containing ambient ocean sounds, I came across my "O, Brother Where Art Thou" soundtrack and laid it out, thinking wow, I haven't listened to that in so long. So, when I got home I put it on. The third track is an old gospel song "Down to the River to Pray." I found myself singing along from a place deep inside..."O, sisters, let's go down, come on down, let's go down, O sisters, let's go down, down to the river to pray." Something stirred in my being, and I picked up the case, looking for another gospel song. Track 9...yes that's it. "I'll Fly Away"

I turned up the stereo, grateful my roommate wasn't home. As I began singing along, the stirring thing in me began to move up into my chest, and out through my throat. "Some bright morning, when this life is o'er..." and it was more than singing with my voice, it was singing from my heart. As I harmonized with the voices coming through the speakers, tears flowed. And I was crying, not the subtle tears that come during practice, but the kind of weeping that comes with mourning a great loss, and causes you to abandon any sort of decorum.

I grew up singing this song, in church. Preacher's daughter, church was every Sunday morning, Sunday evening and Wednesday evening for 17 years. That part of my life is long behind me. I no longer subscribe to the idea that this life is suffering and that the afterlife will be my reward. I don't feel "Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away." And I am so grateful to the practice and study of yoga for opening my eyes to a world where we live our lives fully, and heaven happens right here as I wake up to it. I love the mantras in sanskrit, and the deep wisdom they share.

But I didn't grow up with them. I grew up with four part harmony, Acapella spirituals. Hearing them again, singing them again, reconnected me to the child who loved coming together in a church filled with people who were lifting their voices in praise. When we were singing, we were united, lifted up. We were the best parts of ourselves, hearts open, voices joined in harmony, sometimes two or three hundred of us. We were moved to tears, to confession, to ask for forgiveness. At the end of every service, there was an invitation song, and we had the opportunity to come forward, to ask our brothers and sisters to pray for us, to support us in our struggles.

I forgot that part. I remembered being called a sinner, I remembered the decade long struggle with my father, the alienation, judgement and anger. But I forgot the good part. In the continuing journey of healing and growth, I got to reclaim tonight the beauty of "wherever two or more of you are gathered in his name, there is love." It wasn't perfect, my church life, and I wouldn't trade what I have now to go back. I don't have to. The part of me who loved singing those songs then is the same part of me who now gets on the yoga mat, sits in meditation, and gathers with students and fellow teachers to continue to seek and celebrate a connection with the divine. And when we gather together, there is love.

I am, at long last, making peace with my past. Not by returning to the old way of thinking, but rather by connecting the threads and beginning to understand these parts of my life are not separate, but like the beads on the mala I use for mantra practice, they are connected by a spark in me that recognizes the divine whenever and however it calls. A deep bow of gratitude to that call, may I continue to hear it and to follow where it leads me. And thanks to Allison Krause for my own personal gospel revival.

Sub List for Sept 17th - Oct 10th; Empower Yoga

2009-09-03T23:10:00.000-07:00

Gigi will be subbing my Empower Yoga classes while I am away.

Sub List for Sept 17th - Oct 10th; Dharma Yoga

2009-09-03T23:02:00.000-07:00

Friday, September 18th, 5:00 PM All Levels - Lauran Scott
Monday, September 21, 12:00 PM All Levels - Sanieh
Friday, September 25, 5:00 PM All Levels - Keith
Monday, September 28, 12:00 PM All Levels- Sanieh
Friday, October 2, 5:00 PM All Levels - Keith
Monday, October 5, 12:00 PM All Levels - Sanieh
Friday, October 9, 5:00 PM All Levels- Keith

Sub List for Sept 17th - Oct 10th; Castle Hill Yoga

2009-09-03T22:53:00.000-07:00

9/17 Thurs 9:30 Mark Franke; 6:00 Hannah Emlen

9/20 Sun 4:00 Chris Rossbach

9/22 Tues 9:30 Christina Sell; 6:00 Mark Franke
9/24 Thurs 9:30 Christina Sell; 6:00 Hannah Emlen
9/27 Sun 4:00 Hannah Emlen

9/29 Tues 9:30 Christina Sell; 6:00 Mark Franke

10/1 Thurs 9:30 Mark Franke; 6:00 Duke O'Connor

10/4 Sun 4:00 Hannah Emlen

10/6 Tues 9:30 Hannah Emlen; 6:00 Mark Franke

10/8 Thurs 9:30 Christina Sell; 6:00 Hannah Emlen

In San Diego for the Weekend

2009-08-27T12:14:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to let you all know I'll be in San Diego for the weekend, taking yoga and cooling off for a few days. Here's my sub-list since I know some of you like to know:

Thursday, Aug 27th - Vinyasa at Castle Hill 6pm - Duke

Friday, August 28th - All Levels at Dharma Yoga 5pm-Keith

Saturday, August 29th - Vinyasa at Bodhi 10am - Chris

Sunday, August 30th- Vinyasa at Castle Hill 4pm - Chris

Be back Sunday night and back to regular teaching schedule Monday morning. Have a terrific weekend!

Post of Tibetan Zen Story; This is the one I shared in class this week.

2009-08-18T22:09:00.000-07:00

A devoted meditator, after years concentrating on a particular mantra, had attained enough insight to begin teaching. The student's humility was far from perfect, but the teachers at the monastery were not worried.

A few years of successful teaching left the meditator with no thoughts about learning from anyone; but upon hearing about a famous hermit living nearby, the opportunity was too exciting to be passed up.

The hermit lived alone on an island at the middle of a lake, so the meditator hired a man with a boat to row across to the island. The meditator was very respectful of the old hermit. As they shared some tea made with herbs the meditator asked him about his spiritual practice. The old man said he had no spiritual practice, except for a mantra which he repeated all the time to himself. The meditator was pleased: the hermit was using the same mantra he used himself -- but when the hermit spoke the mantra aloud, the meditator was horrified!

"What's wrong?" asked the hermit.

"I don't know what to say. I'm afraid you've wasted your whole life! You are pronouncing the mantra incorrectly!"

"Oh, Dear! That is terrible. How should I say it?"

The meditator gave the correct pronunciation, and the old hermit was very grateful, asking to be left alone so he could get started right away. On the way back across the lake the meditator, now confirmed as an accomplished teacher, was pondering the sad fate of the hermit.

"It's so fortunate that I came along. At least he will have a little time to practice correctly before he dies." Just then, the meditator noticed that the boatman was looking quite shocked, and turned to see the hermit standing respectfully on the water, next to the boat.

"Excuse me, please. I hate to bother you, but I've forgotten the correct pronunciation again. Would you please repeat it for me?"

"You obviously don't need it," stammered the meditator; but the old man persisted in his polite request until the meditator relented and told him again the way he thought the mantra should be pronounced.

The old hermit was saying the mantra very carefully, slowly, over and over, as he walked across the surface of the water back to the island.

Visiting the Past

2009-07-26T22:06:00.000-07:00

I just returned from an 826 mile bike ride down the coast of Oregon and Northern California. We started the trip in Astoria, Oregon which is the town where I graduated from high school. I hadn't been back to visit in 20 years. As we pulled into town I was surprised at how seeing the streets and buildings I passed by daily pulled up from the murky parts of my brain very clear memories of my life at that time.

It was as a if a part of my brain that hadn't been accessed for a very long time started working again. The cannery where I worked one summer, the ice cream stand that served the best frozen custard, the crazy hills I walked up and down day after day...each place brought a flood of excitement and joy.

I've never really been one to give much credence to roots. As the daughter of a missionary, we moved very often, and once I was on my own, I continued to move from place to place for many years, never returning but always moving on to the next location, next group of friends, next series of events.

But there's something important about revisiting from time to time the places we came from. More than anything, I was struck by how much bigger my life is now. When I lived in Astoria, it was my whole life. Going back to visit, it seems like such a small piece. I realized how far I've come since then, not geographically, but mentally and emotionally.

And yet, there is no denying the elements of that town, the ocean, the Columbia river, the trees, rain and fog, all of these are the imagery of my dreams to this day. So much of what I was surrounded with then is still the language of my subconscious.

It's as if there's an iconography we develop, and this stays with us, whether we shift locations or orientations through life. Again and again I would see certain things and realize, oh, that's why there are bridges and cliffs and huge trees in my mind, because that's what I was surrounded with.

I love the vast spaces of the Oregon coastline, the desolate feeling of standing on the edge of a 200 foot cliff while the sea spray from the crashing waves filters up in it's cool saltiness.

I love beaches where rows of sunbathing blondes are replaced with huge driftwood logs and firepits from gatherings long gone. There's a beautiful isolation on the coastline. When you live there, you can always go to the beach to experience your aloneness, and at the same time, your deep connection to the elements. Sand dunes, sea grass and the fog are great companions, and any sadness, no matter how great, is dwarfed by them.

I didn't expect it, but in visiting my past I reconnected with elements of who I am today. It's as if I discovered my own backstory, and through it am able to make more sense of the parts that make up my whole. Even then, I had a deep appreciation for both companionship and isolation, for the harshness and the gentleness of nature, and for the simple pleasure of taking time to let life soak in. And while I have had many different experiences since then, there is a thread that runs through it all. Experiencing this was grounding in a way I hadn't appreciated fully, and while the past is over and we don't choose to live in it, understanding it and embracing it was exactly what I needed to see where I stand now and to look forward to the continued unfolding of my future.

Sub List for Gioconda

2009-07-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

As of now, the following will be subbing for me while I'm out of town. I will post any changes, so you can check back to be sure!

Saturday 10am Heated Vinyasa @ Bodhi ;

July 11th, 18th & 25th - Chris Rossbach

Sunday 4pm Vinyasa @ Castle Hill;

July 12th - Mark Franke, July 19^th – Malisa Shames

Monday 5:30-7pm Heated Vinyasa @ Bodhi;

July 13^th Andrew Gray, July 20^th – Christina Sell

Tuesday /Thursday @ Castle Hill Fitness

July 14th; 9:30am & 6pm Mark Franke

July 16th; 9:30am – Christina Sell; 6pm - Caroline Wright

July 21st; 9:30am - Caroline Wright; 6pm- Malisa Shames

July 23rd; 9:30am – Christina Sell; 6pm - Malisa Shames

Have a great time, and enjoy some wonderful teachers while I'm away!

Tao Te Ching

2009-06-16T21:54:00.000-07:00

If you want to become whole,

let yourself be partial.

If you want to become straight,

let yourself be crooked.

If you want to be come full,

let yourself become empty.

If you want to be reborn,

let yourself die.

If you want to be given everything,

give everything up. - Tao Te Ching

So to be in the Tao, or the flow, of things we have to surrender that which we think we want and embrace it's opposite. Why? Because in order to make space for that which we seek, we must stop resisting that which we fear. So often we set goals not only to move toward something, but also to move away from something. And yet, this pushing something away is what draws it to us again and again. If we can stop the resistance, and rather move into the flow of things, we will find that what we are seeking comes towards us.

I don't get sick very often but this month, something in the environment laid me out for over a week. I found I just barely had the energy to teach, eat and then sleep. At first, I tried every remedy I could find, resorted to caffeine and did everything I could to continue life as usual. Then I found this reading and decided to add, "If you want to become well, let yourself be ill." And I choose to embrace the experience. I allowed myself to sleep as needed, to allow phone calls and emails to go unreturned for a few days, and to see what would come. I became still, quiet and restful.

And I was surprised at what did come. Far beyond resting my body, I stepped out of the activity that had occupied my mind and in it's absence, I began to see with clarity some issues that have been waiting to surface for years. It's as if this voice had been speaking to me but the stereo was turned up so loud I couldn't hear it. I'd been asking for clarity and the opportunity to heal and move forward for months, but I hadn't stop to listen when it came. More than healing my body, I needed the time to understand how to heal my heart. So the wellness that is coming now, after embracing it's opposite, is a wellness not just of body but of inner being.

The Bhagavad Gita speaks again and again to letting go of attachments to end suffering. And when it comes to what we view as "negative" attachments we're all on board, or at least we get it. But what about attachments to things like feeling really good or getting something we want? I don't believe it's the desire for well-being the Gita is speaking to, nor the Tao Te Ching. It's the attachment to having that and only that as our experience that cuts us off from the full spectrum of life. Sometimes we learn by contrast, and sometimes the very thing we want to avoid is exactly the step needed to move into what we most deeply desire. We don't surrender that which we would like to experience, but rather we open ourselves to the flow of things and ride it to the full realization of what we want.

The next part of that piece says:

When the ancient Master's said "If you want to be given everything,

give everything up."

They weren't just using empty phrases.

Only in being lived by the Tao

can you be truly yourself.

Schedule May 11th-13th; Yoga Journal Conference

2009-05-10T17:01:00.000-07:00

The training with Rodney Yee last week was incredible, more details on that forthcoming. In the meantime, my schedule update is as follows:

Monday, May 11th, Bodhi Yoga 5:30-7pm

Tuesday, May 12th, Castle Hill Yoga 9:30-11am & 6-7:15pm

Wednesday, May 13th, Bodhi Yoga 5:30-7pm (subbing for Andrew)

I will be traveling to New York City for the Yoga Journal Conference from Thursday, May 14th through Monday, May 18th, and back to my regularly scheduled classes on Tuesday, May 19th.

Looking forward to studying with the varied experienced teachers at the conference and to coming back to share this experience with you. I'll be back in Austin and to my regular teaching schedule for the rest of the month!

Sub Schedule While I'm Training

2009-04-30T13:02:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be traveling next week to Northampton, Ma to study with Rodney Yee. I will be gone May 3-8th. Here's my sub schedule in case you would like to know:

Sunday, May 3rd, 4pm Castle Hill - Mark Franke

Monday, May 4th, 5:30pm Bodhi - G'nell

Tuesday, May 5th, 9:30am Castle Hill - Hannah; 5:30pm Zen Spyn - Duke

Thursday, May 7th 9:30am Castle Hill - Mark; 5;30pm Zen Spyn - Duke

Friday, May 8th 5pm, Dharma Yoga - Keith

So looking forward to sharing with you what I learn when I return, I will be teaching at 10am at Bodhi Yoga on Saturday, May 9th and back to regular schedule on May 10th.

Enjoy the Journey!

Shiva, The Destroyer

2008-11-22T17:25:00.000-08:00

On my recent trip to India I visited a Shiva temple in the town of Mahabelipuram, or Marmalapuram. It is known by both names; almost all cities and towns in India have two names, one the British gave each town and one the Indians call each town. I like the name Mahabelipuram, which translates as the City of Highest Sacrifice.

The temple is on the beach, about an hour from Chennai (Madras). This beach was hit by the Tsunami, and while it wasn't nearly as devastating there as in many other places in Asia, the Tsunami did wipe out homes and businesses on the beach, as well as destroying part of the temple.

If you are unfamiliar with the male trinity in Hindu culture, there are three main male dieties, Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. Brahma is seen as the creator, Vishnu the sustainer, and Shiva the destroyer. As I was sitting on the beach, I couldn't help but see the connection between the Tsunami and the destruction it wreaked hitting the home of Shiva, the destroyer.

I spent the afternoon on the beach, watching the waves roll in and contemplating this connection. I tried to imagine what it would be like if one of the waves I was watching happened to be that particular wave on that particular morning. While I rationally knew I was completely safe watching the waves roll in, as I connected to the thought of what it would be like to see that wave coming, I felt the fear rise up in my body. With that feeling of fear came the desire to escape. Rather than move with that feeling, I chose to sit with it to see what it would reveal.

The physical sensation in my body was familiar. It was the same feeling I have when a wave of what I perceive to be destruction arises in my life. While I am not Hindu and initially found the multitude of dieties in their system to be confusing, the more I consider their structure the more wisdom I find in it. In the trinity of Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva is the wisdom that life moves like waves. Things are created, sustained, and then dissolved in order to make space for the cycle to begin again. If nothing ever changed, disappeared, or was in essence destroyed, there would be no space for new creation.

And yet, I realized how much I fear that moment of destruction, dissolution, change. And in that fear, how often I seek an escape, a way to somehow avoid the wave, push it back, rearrange things so I can stay in the same place. As I sat there on the beach, the lesson I came for was revealed to me. I have to make peace with Shiva, to learn to recognize the value he brings, an accepting, willing a participant in the third peice of this cycle of life.

How much suffering have I caused myself and others in avoiding the endings when they arrive? How often has avoiding the ending only prolonged a situation that is long past serving it's time? The impact of that realization was strong...only in welcoming Shiva when he comes can I allow the natural flow of life.

As I watched wave after wave crash on the shore, I returned to the joy I always experience near the sea. The sea is vast, the waves keep coming from an endless source, and they return to that same source. So it is with life. The opportunities for growth and experience are vast, and anything that appears to go away simply returns to source, to come back as another wave, another opportunity. To cling to something when it is time to allow it to return to source is as pointless as trying to hold a wave on the shore.

I did make peace with Shiva that day. And I made a promise to recognize the fear that comes when things are shifting as a reminder to let go, and allow the wave to come. And while I know this lesson will continue to unfold in the coming days and years, I am so grateful for that moment. For me, the City of Highest Sacrifice showed me the loss associated with change is not the highest sacrifice. Running from change or destruction out of fear and postponing evolution is the highest sacrifice.

There is no doubt that things are shifting and changing in the world right now. Some things seem to be falling apart, and I find myself returning to this lesson since I've been back. While fear can arise as we watch systems we have trusted fail, I can't help but think in some ways the slate is being cleared for a new way. There's never been a better moment to be alive, and awake to the unfolding.

Om Namah Shivaya

Gioconda

Changing the World, One OM at a Time

2008-04-24T14:54:00.001-07:00

You are all invited to join me in an evening of Seva (selfless service) on May 20th, 2008. We've gathered a great group of teachers to present an evening of yoga, live music and meditation to benefit "Off the Mat, Into the World" and the Cambodian Children's Fund. The event will be from 7:30pm-9:30pm at the Mercury Hall in South Austin! So come, bring your friends, and join in this great opportunity to practice together as one yoga community working together to help out another community in need! Your yoga studio will have postcards within the week with all the details. 25$ suggested donation.

Yoga Music by Request

2008-03-31T18:58:00.001-07:00

Many of you have asked for more information about the music I usually play in class. Most of the playlists I use are Shiva Rea CD's. You can find these on Amazon or on www.shivarea.com. These are the titles:

Yoga Rhythms
Shakti Rhythms
Tandava
Jala
Kerala Dream
Nataraja

I also sometimes play Ali Farka Toure and Ry Cooder's album Talking Timbuktu and a lot of you have asked me after class, what was that?

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

2008-03-21T16:45:00.000-07:00

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

So many of you loved this poem, I wanted to post it. This poem found significant meaning for me again last week. Someone close to me confronted me with a situation from my past that I was not particularly proud of. It was almost a surreal experience. It's amazing how guilt or shame has no reference for time, or growth, but can suck you right back to the moment it happened and leave you feeling vulnerable and fearful.

Fortunately, the universe continues moving along without regard to your particular dilemma, and a friend of mine happened to email me this poem that same night. Suddenly I had the perspective I needed to return to the present moment, to the present me, who would never make the same choices I made then. Who has so much more love and respect for myself and my life, and from this place I was able to be grateful for the whole of my life, mistakes and all, and even to have gratitude towards this person who brought this up, and gave me the opportunity to integrate something I had wanted to leave behind. Life isn't about dissecting out the things we find unsavory and collecting just the bright, shiny parts. Life is about making peace with all parts, and developing the compassion that can forgive our shortcomings, and with that practice, forgive others as well.

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

2008-02-23T12:26:00.000-08:00

This is the poem I read in class today. It is from a book entitled The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. I haven't read it yet, but I just ordered it.

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.
It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain!I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithlessand therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see beauty even when it's not pretty, every day,and if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”
It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
copyright © 1999 by Oriah Mountain Dreamer.

For more information about Oriah, visit http://skdesigns.com/internet/articles/prose/oriah_mountain_dreamer/invitation/

Yoga Intensive This Summer

2008-02-18T10:24:00.000-08:00

Yoga Intensive with Gioconda

This summer, I will be offering a 200 hour Yoga Intensive. This course is open to students wishing to deepen their practice and understanding in the areas of Asana (including anatomy), pranayama, meditation and yogic philosophy. Completion of all sections of this intensive will qualify students to register with the Yoga Alliance.

The intensive will be offered in one 10 day intensive and three weekend mini-courses. Students not wishing to enroll in the entire 200 hour program are invited to attend one or all of the weekend courses as their schedule and interests allow.

Maximum Enrollment for the 200 hour Program: 12 students.
Cost of the 200 Hour Program: $3,000, Early Bird registration $2,800
Payment Plan Available; Credit Card Payment also available.

200 Hour Program includes:
10 Day Intensive, 3 Weekend Mini-Courses, and Class Assisting & Observation.
Some outside reading & reflection also required.

10 Day Intensive

Held in a lovely setting on the outskirts of Austin, Texas this 10 day course is designed to root students deeply in their practice and in the foundations of yoga. Each day will include a 2 hour asana practice, pranayama and meditation, personal time for journaling and reflection, a 3 hour deeper exploration into the asanas included in the day’s practice, and a 2 hour philosophy course. Materials for study will be provided, and students will prepare for the intensive by reading some materials prior to the course. The final two days of the intensive will be dedicated to actualizing the materials studied, by sharing your knowledge with fellow students in an intimate and nurturing community.

Weekend Mini-Courses

The Anatomy of Yoga with Mark Uridel

Because asana is a practice of the body, a study of human anatomy and how the body works can greatly enhance our experience of the yoga postures.

A practicing Physical Therapist and dedicated yoga student and teacher, Mark brings both a depth of knowledge and practical experience to the study of the Anatomy of Yoga. This 20 hour weekend mini-course will look at anatomy as it applies to asana and them apply anatomy directly to the practice. Applied use of anatomical understanding will be the focus. This weekend course is open to both teachers and students of yoga wishing to enhance their skills through the study of anatomy.

$325 for weekend course; Price of Anatomy Book not included.

Living with Integrity: An Exploration of the Yamas and Niyamas

Like all sacred writings, the principles set our for us in the yoga sutras have a timeless value. In this weekend mini-course, we will engage in a study of the guidelines of living laid out in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Through the practice of asana, pranayama, mediation and through the process of journaling and discussion, we will set the signal deep in our core to embody these qualities.

$325 for weekend course; Course materials will be provided

Encountering the Mystics: Rumi, Hafiz and Tagore
“Explore the mystical poetry of the body and the soul”

Centering around a study of the poetry of Rumi, Hafiz and Tagore, we will spend the weekend engaging in asana, pranayama, meditation and study to touch that place in the soul these poets all point us to. Course will include study of both the poetry and the lives of these great men,.

$325 for weekend course; Course materials will be provided

Encountering Resistance

2008-02-14T20:52:00.000-08:00

Recently, I received a phone call from a friend of mine and fellow teacher. There was a chance he was going to need to leave town for a bit and asked if I could cover his class while he was gone. Wanting to be helpful, I said yes, thinking it probably wouldn't happen and it seemed pretty far off in the future, so no big deal.

He's a very talented teacher, and his style of teaching is far different than mine. As the time arrived, he called and said that he did need me. And that's when it started, this feeling of not wanting to do it, this resistance. First I tried to wriggle out of it, isn't there another teacher who's style is closer? Or perhaps someone else on the schedule who wants to promote their class? I made some calls, sent some emails, but came up empty handed. Wait, I thought, I have another commitment, maybe I won't be able to do it. But someone volunteered to cover it for me. Darn. Now what?

I went home. I should figure out what I'm going to do. But first, I'll check my email. Make a snack. Talk to my roommate. All the while, this resistance is growing. How am I going to do this? It's not my thing...I feel overwhelmed. I have so much on my plate already, how am I going to come up with something adequate. What was I thinking? I hardly even use props. And I'm so busy anyway, why me? And now I'm feeling sorry for myself. Good lord, how did I get here?

And that's when I turned the corner. In the Tao Te Ching, #63 if you have the Stephen Mitchell translation, it says:

Confront the difficult while it is still easy;
Accomplish the great taks by a series of small acts.
The master never reaches for the great; thus she achieves greatness.
When she runs into a difficulty, she stops and gives herself to it.

She doesn't cling to her own comfort;
Thus problems are no problem for her.

So, I stopped avoiding and making excuses, and I definitely decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. I wasn't being asked to teach the ultimate class, just to teach a class. I didn't have to make up 20 years of experience to equal the person I was subbing for, I just needed to use what I knew and use the resources available to me. So I started thinking about the people I knew would be in class, and what they might need. I got out some of the same reference books I refer my teacher trainees to and started to make a plan. Surprisingly, 20 minutes later I was pretty excited about the class I'd designed and was actually looking forward to this opportunity for growth the universe had so graciously just dumped in my lap.

Usually I find resistance is directly related to clinging to comfort. I have my routine, this is what I do, don't ask me to try something new I'm not comfortable with. This is why the yoga practice can be so rewarding. Many yoga poses are uncomfortable in the beginning, and some of them are still uncomfortable 10 years later. But by continuing to choose to enter them, to literally stop and give myself to them, I find a way to be with them, to learn from them and sometimes to actually enjoy them. Developing a knack for this certainly carries over into life. So the next time you encounter that pose that really makes you want to leave the room to get a glass of water or pee or whatever excuse it is you use (I know these, I've used them all), see it as an opportunity to encounter difficulty and to give yourself to it, see what you find.

And hopefully the next time I get the chance to teach something I'm not accustomed to, I won't have to move through avoidance, overwhelm and self-pity and I can get strait to the fun part!

Join me on Retreat in Costa Rica

2008-02-14T20:45:00.000-08:00

Keith Katchik and I are leading a Yoga Retreat to celebrate Summer Solstice. The retreat is eight days and seven nights at Sueño Azul Resort in the lush, tropical jungles of northern Costa Rica. You can treat yourself to as much yoga as you wish, with morning classes ranging from vigorous Vinyasa Flow and Thai Yoga Massage to gentle Restorative and meditation.
The retreat includes yummy buffet meals, gorgeous rooms with private baths and terraces with pano-ramic views, access to the Sueño Azul pool and spa, ground transportation to and from San José airport, and daily excursions including whitewater rafting, horseback riding, riverboat tours, and high-wire jungle-canopy adventures.

Retreat Rates(double occupancy, excluding airfare)
$1,595 before March 31st
$1,795 after March 31st

Refunds and Cancellations: Full payment is due at time of booking. No refunds after May 1st. In the event of cancellation, you may transfer your reservation to another person.Contact gioconda@giocondayoga.com or visit www.giocondayoga.com.

Welcome to Yoga Forum

2008-02-12T10:59:00.000-08:00

Thanks for visiting the Yoga Forum. You will find readings from yoga class here, as well as musings and inspiration I come across from day to day. Please use this space to comment or add your own thoughts on the readings or other subjects. I am excited about having another way to communicate with students, teachers and other fellow practitioners. I'll be updating three to four times a week so please visit as often as you like. I'm looking forward to communicating with you through this venue!